See the problem is when you fall in love all your fears do not fade away. Your feelings are more sensitive and they have all the power in the world to break you. There’s nothing you can do to guard your heart except break it yourself.
I hadn’t puked since February/march of last year.
My throat is swelling.
My lymph nodes are inflammed.
All the things I’d forgotten.
You’re very being nestled with mine
There’s nothing to be done,
No struggle will suffice
You’ve buried yourself within the deepest part of me
And I hope you never leave
There would be a void which will never secede
A glutton or a fake
An evening and a wake
I am the very essence of greed
Because if I die
I’d dream of you dying with me
If I could die with anyone
I’d die with you
I can feel my confidence drop like the ball on New Year’s. Maybe it’s just this time of the month. Maybe I’m just intuitive. I want to curl up and die. Never leave this house again. Maybe I’ll be in the crawl space when people find me. I’m not afraid to leave this world. Maybe then things will change. I’m not depressed just a little less. Much more romantic than it seems. To die alone on the brink of insanity.
The day I met with you in the park I knew we weren’t going to break up. As much as it scared me to see you, I’d go through it all again. I care about you more than I care about myself. I may not seem to fully grasp the concept of altered consciousness but I do. I understand. I’m sorry I don’t physically show you that I love you, or verbally rather. The fact that I went to your house means I care. I still do. I want to be with you. You’re a part of me that never leaves. If not only in my dreams do I see you, I miss you when I can’t physically be around. I long to be with you all moments of the day. These drunk soliloquys are harder typed while sober. The odds are against us. But maybe we’re unique enough to defy them.